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The routine settles in an inevitable way in the couple if we are not careful, and most often everything leads to losing interest in sex except the prospect of a very pleasant moment! For this, we must treat the excitement which is the key to desire! Explanations by Dr. Damien Mascret, sexologist.*

We have talked a lot about communication, about exchange to relaunch a sexual life, but many recent works now insist on the fact that sexual desire emerges from arousal informs Dr. Mascret. “To be stimulated by an activity, it must be a source of excitation for the brainhe explains. If our sexuality is not exciting, there is no reason for our brain to motivate us for it!

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Excitement as a motor of desire

It is therefore the excitement that we must treat to find desire. “We have to fight against the force of habit, get out of the comfort zone to wake up our erotic brain which falls asleep when there are no more surprises.» explains Dr. Mascret who advises «re-opening the sexual playground with unpredictability“. To achieve this, this sex therapist advises you to remove the relational element of sexuality and focus on what would turn you on. “This requires disconnecting one’s superior civilized animal brain which opposes our primary erotic brain, that is to say getting rid of everything that is of the order of our education, morals, fears …he recommends. The objective is to face his erotic personality, which can be completely disconnected from his social, friendly, parental personality…

How to find his erotic instinct?

You can help yourself with sexo-tests of erotic practices that will guide you and allow you to discover if a particular practice would excite you. “Better start by doing these tests alone (alone)advises Damien Mascret. The objective is to create a surprise effect by breaking your sexual habits as a couple. “Sometimes all it takes is a different gesture to reintroduce unpredictability!“underlines the sexologist who insists on the fact that this surprise side should not make us forget the mutual consent. It is also possible to share the results of these tests with your partner, and vice versa, so that you can see what you would both like to experience.

Author of the bookThe Cycle of DesireEditions du faubourg, May 2023

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